The way you sit and stand, your gestures and mannerisms and your facial expressions will say far more about you and how you are feeling at any given time than the words you are using. When individuals are nervous or uneasy, their behavioural ‘bad habits’ become more pronounced. Biting nails or tapping foot are some very common examples of the same. One’s awareness of the body language, how they behave under pressure, and how the stressors affect physically, can help to understand how one “come across” to others. How calm one is in stressful situations and how one acts or reacts to a situation with there body language often influence others view about them. Along with this it also helps one to build a positive image for oneself. A calm and patient individual works best in stressful situations and can find solutions to problems in a more organised manner as compared to an individual who comes out nervous, biting nails and acting haphazard.
Working on body language is a way of improving personal presentation. For example, when concentrating on something rather hard, your expression may look troubled, when you are not anxious at all, just absorbed. This does not mean you should go around with a fixed smile on your face. However, you do need to be aware that your physical self might send one set of signals when your mind is involved elsewhere.
Body language can also be used as a mask to convey contrary feelings. How often have you nodded firmly when you did not understand a word, smiled when your instinct was to scowl, or clapped enthusiastically at the end of a talk that nearly put you to sleep?
In these cases, you were not being hypocritical, but using body language positively as the mechanism of good manners.
Positive body language includes:
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Maintaining eye contact with the person you are speaking to.
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Smiling (if appropriate) but especially as a greeting and at the end of a conversation.
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Sitting squarely on a chair, leaning slightly forward (this indicates you are paying attention).
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Nodding in agreement.
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A firm handshake.
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Presenting a calm exterior.
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Looking interested.
Negative body language includes:
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Not looking at a person when speaking.
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Tapping a foot, fingers etc.
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Rocking backwards and forwards.
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Scratching.
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Continually clearing your throat.
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Fiddling with hair, ear lobes, jewellery, jacket, glasses, etc.
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Picking at fingers or fingernails.
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Yawning.
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Repeatedly looking at your watch or a clock in the room.
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Standing too close to others.
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Inattention to a person who is speaking.
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