The Turning Point
Then, one day, I asked myself a question I hadn’t before: Would I ever talk to a loved one the way I talk to myself? If my best friend stood in front of me and pointed out her insecurities, would I confirm them? Or would I remind her of all the wonderful things she was overlooking?
That question shook me. Because the answer was obvious—I would never speak to someone I love the way I was speaking to myself.
So, I decided to challenge that voice. I started small—I wrote down three things I liked about myself. At first, it felt strange, almost forced. The list was short: my eyes, my resilience, my way with words. But slowly, as I made this a habit, the list grew.
I began to notice things beyond just the physical. I appreciated the way I handled difficult situations, my ability to make people feel heard, my passion for growth. I started looking in the mirror with a little more kindness.
There was a phase in my life when looking into the mirror felt like standing before a relentless critic—one who pointed out every flaw, every imperfection, and every little detail that “wasn’t good enough.” No one else said it, but my mind did, repeatedly.
I would scrutinize my reflection, noticing things no one else would—an uneven hair strand, the way my shirt fit, the tiredness in my eyes. And somehow, that tiny voice inside would turn them into proof that I wasn’t enough. It was exhausting, and worst of all, I didn’t even realize how much of my energy was spent in this silent self-sabotage.
Rewriting the Inner Dialogue
Self-love isn’t about blind positivity. It’s not about convincing yourself that you’re perfect—it’s about accepting yourself as a work in progress, as someone worthy of kindness despite imperfections.
I’ve realized that the way we see ourselves influences everything—our confidence, our relationships, and even the opportunities we allow ourselves to pursue. When we are harsh with ourselves, we unconsciously shrink. But when we nurture a kinder dialogue within, we expand, we glow, we show up in ways we never imagined possible.
The Question That Changed Everything
Now, when I conduct self-love workshops, I ask people one simple yet powerful question:
“Would you speak to your best friend the way you speak to yourself?”
If the answer is no, then it’s time to change the conversation.
Because at the end of the day, the mirror is only as kind as your thoughts. And you, more than anyone else, deserve to be spoken to with kindness.
So the next time you look in the mirror, what will you choose to say?
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